It Felt Amazing To Be Validated

The other day I was hanging out with some family members who spent a lot of time with me when I was young. (Yes, I'm being vague on purpose), we started discussing my weight loss and this blog and how it's not about the food. She told me a story from my childhood that just validated this whole journey. I am/was not hallucinating this whole time. My reality was and is reality.

And this was all on Friday night. Saturday I went shopping with my mom, actually. She bought me some size 8 pants. Yes, I purposely threw in size 8. I'm proud of myself. Anway, I think she's putting forth an effort. As I've said before (I think), I've always been jealous of those who are "best friends" with their moms. If she can put forth an effort, I cannot hold onto the past forever and be resentful. I should put forth an effort too. I let my guard down and we actually had a good time.

There are many many elephant in the room topics and many awkwardnesses in our relationoship. Clearly. Anyway, I really think that I was able to really decompress all of these pent up feelings that I had been holding in because no one had really given me a concrete example to think about. While I don't remember this particular incident, I do remember those stinging words, "jelly belly" and "thunder thighs". I had completely forgotten. I had put it out of my mind. But hearing it again and and thinking, "Yes! It finally clicks!" As I was driving home I felt lighter. I feel lighter now. That's how I was able to do the mall thing yesterday.

I've also realized that a lot of my stress lately has to do with finances. I'm pretty broke and I'm not used to that. I was doing the blaming thing. But, now, I think I'm ready to take responsibility. I just need to work smarter/harder not necessarily longer hours and just make more money. That's all. Then that big stress will go away.

I just had another realization that it's not about the food. I'm talking about things other than food. In prior blogs I've kept, the highlight of the blog was always where I went to lunch or dinner that day. See...it's not about the food.