A Few Days To Digest

Ok, bad pun. :-) Ya know, my life wasn't supposed to be like this. This wasn't my plan. It's not fair. You don't know what it's like to be me. I think I've covered most of my bases here. What the hell am I talking about? Ok.


I recently met an individual I clicked with. It wasn't a sexual thing. It was more of a mutual understanding. We spoke multiple timeorrs a day almost every day for a couple of weeks, I shared. Ok, I unloaded in the end. And then, it was like it never happened. I'm off to Florida. Wait, what?

It's frusterating. Rarely do you meet another individual who, when you have serious conversations with, you almost feel as though you are speaking to yourself. I'm not better or worse than anyone else. I just don't understand picking up and driving cross country on a split second decision.

The old me would have eaten, well, inhaled everything in sight to squelch the frusteration, hurt, worry, sadness, and on and on. But, I didn't. It didn't really even cross my mind. That impressed me.

Ya know, (in other news), I keep referring to this weight loss thing, as a journey. But, its so much more than that. I've done a ton of self-reflection, especially with this blog. And while I've physically shrunk, I've definitely grown. Up. I've acceped reality...to some extent. I think that's the key.

I kind of have the battle of the doctors going on right now. On top of Dr. AsianHonoraryJew, I have Dr. SecondaryMother, and Dr. YoungButOldSchool, amongst others. While, I am pretty healthy now, there was a point where I was very ill and therefore, a team of doctors was collected and get me back to health. Anyway, the old school of thought on being over weight and obesity is that if fat people would put the fork down, we'd lose weight and that would be it. Well, we all know it's not so simple. The new school of thought is that yes, portion control and calorie intake has a lot to do with it, there is more going on emotionally, genetically, culturally, physiologicoly, etc. Of course, I'm of the new school of thought...but to the extreme, of course.

And my proof of that, is that if it were just about cutting calories, I wouldn't feel like a new person (sometimes, on a good self esteem day). In this very moment, I'm excited for life, I'm excited for the day, and I want to look good. I'm, well, uncomfortably optimistic...hmm...I'm going to chew on that one on the way to the airport. I'll try to blog again later tonight, as there are many new developments.