Mamma Mia!

Roller coasters, let me tell you. I've had an interesting few weeks. I've been grieving over my puppy. I'm disappointed in myself that I'm not "cured" from emotional eating, but at least I know where I'm at. I've been going out a lot. Staying out late. Being irresponsible. I like it. I spent a couple of weeks in my head. And then one morning last week, I was in the shower and got a call from my parents house.

I ignored the call, but realized I had better get my act together so that I can return the phone call on the way to work but that i I needed to actually be on the way to wok on time if that was my plan. Turns out, all that rushing was just so that my mom could ask if i wanted to see Mamma Mia w/her this weekend. Of course I wanted to see it, just didn't know she wanted to.

Anyway, yesterday was the day. Now, I don't know how familiar any of you are with the story, but at one point the mother and daughter, while getting the daughter ready for her wedding, sing a song entitled, "Slipping Through My Fingers". I about lost it and broke into hysterics during this song and this scene in the movie. I realized I was crying because I don't believe my mom and I will ever actually live that scene. The feelings aren't there and our relationship is based way too much on superficiality...here are the lyrics...

Slipping Through My Fingers
-ABBA - MAMMA MIA!

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that Im losing her forever
And without really entering her world
Im glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think Im close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when shes gone theres that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I cant deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go(slipping through my fingers all the
time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didnt
And why I just dont know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think Im close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

I cried...oh did I cry. I just lost it in the theater and she didn't really know why. I mean, everyone is used to me crying in movies, but not like this. LOL...she probably thinks I was crying because she thinks I think I'll never get married. LOL I wish that was it.